January 4, 2009

Pat Swilling Wishes You A Happy New Year!

It's been slow, so we figured we would post one of our favorite Onion articles to celebrate 2009.

Who Do You Think You Are -- Former New Orleans Saints Linebacker Pat Swilling? 
Do you think posting above-average sales numbers for two months means you are a versatile, savvy defensive player with excellent lateral motion? It's a rhetorical question, Swilling—you don't need to answer it. I feel like I'm talking to someone whose football instincts let him perform effectively as both a linebacker and a defensive end, here. Jesus. You are not former New Orleans Saints linebacker Pat Swilling, and it's high time you stopped leaning back in your chair and twirling your pen around during the Friday wrap-up meeting.

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