Pat Swilling Wishes You A Happy New Year!

It's been slow, so we figured we would post one of our favorite Onion articles to celebrate 2009.

Who Do You Think You Are -- Former New Orleans Saints Linebacker Pat Swilling? 

Do you think posting above-average sales numbers for two months means you are a versatile, savvy defensive player with excellent lateral motion? It's a rhetorical question, Swilling—you don't need to answer it. I feel like I'm talking to someone whose football instincts let him perform effectively as both a linebacker and a defensive end, here. Jesus. You are not former New Orleans Saints linebacker Pat Swilling, and it's high time you stopped leaning back in your chair and twirling your pen around during the Friday wrap-up meeting.

Lions Over Saints -- Bet On It

We're calling it, the 7-7 Saints are going to spoil history by losing to the 0-14 Lions. The reasoning is as follows:

• The Lions at 0-14 have nothing to lose
• The Saints at 7-7 and out of the playoff hunt have nothing to gain
• The Lions have played opponents closer in recent weeks including Indy last week and the Vikings the week before
• The Saints have been awful on the road, holding an appalling 1-6 record. 
• Traveling to Green Bay in week 17 it seems inevitable that the Lions must beat the Saints if they're going to win at all this season. 

With those facts in mind, if you've got some disposable cash sitting around (and in this economy who doesn't?) put it on Detroit. And when you speak of us, speak of us fondly. 

THESE are the times that try men's souls.

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.

Melodramatic? Absolutely.
Overreaction? Yes.
No real connection to present events? Probably.

But, damnit, last night hurt. Add 2008 to 1987, 2001 and 2002 as times that the Vikings have devastated Saints fans.

The good news is that Drew Brees is the best QB in the NFL, Reggie Bush is coming into his own as a true superstar, allegedly the team is going to get healthier over time, and the Oakland Raiders are next up on the schedule. At 2-3 the Saints aren't done by a long shot, and the Saints had legitimate chances to win all three games they lost.

Our sporting world is relatively positive at the moment. Texas could be challenged this week against Oklahoma, ditto LSU with Florida, the Red Sox beat the Angels despite John Lackey's best effort to be Matt Leinart ("We are a better team than they are. The last two days, we shouldn't have given up anything") and the Hornets are starting soon.

Still, that one hurt.

Things that make ya go 'hmmmmm'...

Who would have thought that Olindo Mare would turn out to be one of the better free agent acquisition of the offseason? Think about it for a second...
Eric Johnson just dropped a TD pass and really hasn't done much.
Robert Meachem has not played a down.
We can't spell Kaesviharn.
Jason. David.


Amongst that group, Mare doesn't look so bad. Obviously David Patten (31 catches, 505 yards) was a great signing, and Johnson (42 catches) has been an alright target for Brees. The point remains, however, that a good offseason (Brees, Bush, Colston, Faine, Evans, Harper, Hollis Thomas, Fujita, etc.) is the difference between 2006 and 2007. As Bill Simmons pointed out last year: "One smart free agent signing (Brees), one smart coaching hire (Sean Payton), one blue-chip pick (Bush) and one lucky late-round pick (Colston) and suddenly you're a playoff team."


Oh, and Payton...the Henderson reverse to start the Falcons game?

Nice.

Some More Points

A few thoughts from the world of sports:

• Pats in another tight game that they'll probably end up winning. That's two straight games that the Pats haven't looked like world beaters. Like I said earlier, going 0-16 (Dolphins) is harder than going undefeated (Dolphins).
• John Clayton called 'The Play' the worst call he's seen in 30 years. Still too painful to read, but it's ironic that the Saints scored a TD on that same play on the Monday Nighter last year (if you don't know what I'm referring to you aren't a Saints fan). Yep. That's right. I've never seen a call like that before. It was just as bad as Tim Couch's hailmary for the Browns first win in 1999, the missed XP after the miraculous TD against the Jags in 2003, and the Vikings fumbling the snap on a two-point conversion and still running it for the winning score in 2002.
• It wasn't exactly Texas ruining OU's Senior Day in 2003 (Hollis Price's only home loss), but we're 24 hours later and the win over UCLA seems like the biggest regular season win since that game.
• The Michigan State game in less than three weeks could be the third game against a top ten team this season.
• Damion James won Big XII Player of the Week this week, the second straight for a Longhorn.
• Finally, Michigan lost to Harvard, (insert obligatory Appy State joke here). The best part of the whole story: Harvard is coached by Tommy Amaker who was fired by Michigan in March.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Saints Style

You're up by three points. There is 3:36 left in the game and your opponent only has one timeout left. You have the ball at midfield. Second and ten. You have all the momentum, are averaging 8 yards per pass attempt, and 4 yards per rush attempt. Do you:

A) Run the ball up the middle twice, hoping to get a first but knowing that you can pin the opponent deep in their territory late

B) Run it once and throw it once, hoping to run a little time off the clock but thinking you've got a good chance to pick up the first down and end the game

C) Throw it twice, knowing that you have a smart quarterback and a good chance to pick up the game and the win

D) Run a shotgun draw, reverse pitch the wide receiver involving two players with sketchy hands and a penchant for coughing it up.

Yea, we'd do option D too. At least you've gotta give credit to Sean Payton...for admitting that this was the worst game he's called as the Saints coach. Actually, that's pretty much all I wanted to hear.

In other news, BCS is about to be announced, the guess is LSU vs. Ohio State, Texas is Holiday Bowl bound, and the Horns are about to square off in basketball against UCLA in a huge early season test. Should be fun.

Keith Brooking -- Hero

See below as LB Keith Brooking makes a potentially season saving play for the Saints in the Saints 22-16 win over the Falcons. Only problem: Brooking (#56) plays for the Falcons. Enjoy.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your 2007 New Orleans Saints

It's official. The Saints suck. Again.

The evening started off enchantingly with ESPN building on last year's theme of hope and destruction with a "depress the hell out of everybody" introduction from New York native Spike Lee. That was followed by an even more depressing monologue from Tony Kornheiser that made us even more depressed and reminded us that the Lower 9th is the only area that got water during Katrina. By that point we were pumped for some football, for about five minutes.

The defense is at least not that much worse than they were a year ago. The offense, however, is an entirely different story. The Saints rely on their offense to keep a below average at best defense off the field. A power running game is supposed to work alongside short, crisp passes to keep the chains moving. First and foremost, Drew Brees can't hit the broadside of a barn, which would be a problem except that Brees rarely has the time to set and throw accurately. Reggie Bush is in a constant black hole of space, unable to be Reggie Bush. Devery Henderson looks like a high school receiver, and Robert Meachem is a ghost. Oh, and the coaching. 4th and 1 throwing deep, reverse flea flickers, atrocious challenges, wasting timeouts, etc.

We blame this. You can't bury the past and then hope to recreate the magic. What comes out of the ground ain't the thing you put in. The Indians knew that. Don't bury your son's body at the Indian Burial Ground! The one that's right up over there, behind the Andersons' bar. Sometimes...dead is better. Sorry, got a little sidetracked.

The now 0-3 Saints gave us one amazing season in 2006. Maybe they can win a few games this season and set up for another run for next year, but probably not. 2006 is but a memory, but what a memory it was. Now we'll go back to doing what Saints fans are used to doing, cheering on a loser. Because the important lesson to take out of this is: win or lose, they're still our New Orleans Saints. And Darren McFadden is going to look REAL good along with Reggie and Deuce.

Today is a Very Special Day

That's right, football is back...at least in a very limited, nerve wracking, boring after 10 minutes, form. Preseason Who Dats versus Steelers at 8 o'clock (ET) on NFL Network, catch the excitement! The preseason can mean only one thing...the season is getting really close.

A Short, Much Needed Update

We love America, we love the Saints. This picture of Saintsations visiting U.S. troops in the Middle East was awesome. Sorry for the lack of updates, but football will be here soon enough. Speaking of which, NCAA Football 2008 was released today, it came in the mail, there aren't enough hours in the day to properly enjoy it today.

A Brand Spanking New Saints Blog

We love the Saints. When they won the playoff game this year, we were happy. One of us even won $500 bucks on one spin of roulette betting on #26 for Deuce that night at Harrah's. It was awesome. We were obviously excited, therefore, when Peter told us about Canal Street Chronicles, a new blog dedicated to our very favorite NFL team. If you like America's Team as much as we do, please stop by over there. Who Dat!

That's Just Awesome

Our favorite football coach meets our second favorite football coach, and it's featured on our favorite website!?! We would have killed to have been a fly on the wall during this meeting. You can read the whole interview with Sean Payton on here.

Our favorite response from Payton came to the question about what are his impressions of Texas and Mack Brown?

"He has done a great job. I have heard a lot of great things about coach and you could see his impact immediately with the recruiting and the players he was bringing in and with his coaching staff and what they have been able to accomplish. A National Championship. All of the reasons why he was brought here and he has delivered. It's special and a good place."

Awesome, only 115 days until football starts again!